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The Hypocritical Australian | Tasteless Traveler
Rants

The Hypocritical Australian

posted by The Gopher June 16, 2016 comments
You won't make Australia your home, but we will make yours ours.

Australia, a beautiful country infested with a bunch of wankers. You would think these people that call their friends cunts and enemies mates would stay in Kangarooland instead of traveling since according to them, their country bests all the rest. Unfortunately, they tend to escape the island that their ancestors were transported to quite regularly and when they escape, boy, do they make their opinions known.

I travel a lot and the one traveler I hate putting up with in a hostel more than Americans are Australians. They are vulgar creetons that go out of their way to put the rest of the world down. Even with all their vileness, the one thing that ticks everyone off more than anything else is their hypocritical stands towards illegal work.

What do I mean? They will gladly travel to your country, work on a tourist visa and then ultimately brag about it on future travels to anyone within earshot. The second you or anyone else tells them about the time you had a cash in hand job while in Oz, it’s as if they forgot what they themselves did or even do on a regular basis and were bragging about moments before.

They go off on you and tell you that they have a cunt (or mate) in the immigration department that they would be more than happy to tip off about your cash in hand job ensuring a swift ban to your future travels to Australia. I kid you not, I was in a hostel in Cambodia over hearing this guy brag about working in Disneyland on a tourist visa and when the Chinaman he was regaling his grandiose stories of illegal work to, told him he too worked in Australia illegally, the tune of the wanker switched. He berated the poor guy for 15 minutes about how working illegally in Australia was different, that only Australians should hold jobs in Australia and that, “too many squinters are already taking jobs away from Australians as it is, we don’t need illegals on top of it”.

I wasn’t the only one in the room who sat there and rolled their eyes. Was this guy already pissed before noon or too stupid to realize he himself was bragging about doing the same thing in America?

Dear Australians,

Please stay on your island or shut the fuck up.

Sincerely,

The Gopher

P.S. Fix your god damn teeth, they’re worse than the British teeth ever were and at least they got the hint.

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